If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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