We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
