I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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