I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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