Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
