thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
there was a trapeze. enough said
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
