i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
pray to the hookup gods
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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