i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
