I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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