eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize