He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize