wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Randomize
