your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
high people should be assigned attendants
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
