I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
