Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
