walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
