This girl is more easily done than said...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
