i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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