Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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