I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
