Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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