member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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