Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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