did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
