You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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