I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
