me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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