It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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