What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
