i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
