"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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