I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
