Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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