There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
