please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
