I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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