Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
