I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
