Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
