well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
