man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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