so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
