Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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