So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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