it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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