I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
