shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
