Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
