Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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