I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He kissed a someone with a penis
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
porn star boner night. come get it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
