Already got asked if we're dating
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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