She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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