Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I puked a lego.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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