life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
