Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
