Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
