fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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