Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
